Letting Go of Expectations

Building Authentic Relationships

Expectations we have of others are a poison to our souls and represent a form of self-sabotage. For most of us, having expectations is a common thing. Unfortunately, they can create many discomforts, both for ourselves and those around us.

When we have expectations of others, we often unconsciously force them to focus on us, on what we need or what we desire. We end up constraining them to achieve the desired behavior.

To free ourselves from others’ expectations is to give ourselves back — this is the power of self-respect. — Joan Didion

It doesn’t seem “normal to have certain expectations”. You’ve been taught that it’s normal, or you’re copying the model you were raised in. If your parents expected you to follow the same career as they did, maybe in turn, you expect your child to follow the same career as you. And that means you’re restricting your child’s freedom.

You weren’t born to please anyone. But likewise, your child wasn’t born to please you, your grandparents, or anyone else.

What should you do?

The first step is to understand that it doesn’t make sense to expect others to know what you want and need. Communicate! You don’t want me to be a mind reader. Besides, I don’t think you’d appreciate…